My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I think i got beer on your cat.
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