I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
