I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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