Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
