i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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