I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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