Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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