I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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