My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
