Im at strip club and am horny
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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