hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
