don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize