I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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