FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
