Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
