If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
