I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So many bounce houses so little time
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize