well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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