So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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