I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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