either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
