she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
