Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
