I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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