Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
