If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
