I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
