bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
