I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
