pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
