Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
