If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
