Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
