I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
