I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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