You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
