I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
