wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
