Her vagina should come with caution tape.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
