It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Girls should come with a carfax report
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
