YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
