i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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