Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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