I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
