You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he fucked my hip out of place.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
