I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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