omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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