she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
