Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
