I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
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