Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
