We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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