I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize