when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
