i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
