We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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