And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
