Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
