at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
