We need to start having sex underwater more often.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
