I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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