Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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