I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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