i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
