So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
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