So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
