but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Im part way to drunk.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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